Whether you’re using a vibrator solo or with a partner, it can be helpful to start by getting familiar with the toy on your own. Especially for bullets or wands used for clitoral stimulation, this can be a great way to figure out what your erogenous zones like best.
Use lube to help increase the pleasure and explore techniques such as edging (getting close to orgasm, backing off and then building back up) and thrusting.
1. Hold it against your clitoris
A vibrator can reach a spot of your body that no hand, tongue or penis could. That’s why it can be so exciting to use one. But it’s important to know how to hold it and where. You don’t want to cause any unnecessary pain.
Vibration can be very intense, and you need to find the right position for it to feel good. Most clitoral stimulators are designed to be held against the G-spot, or the hood of the clitoris, which is just below the vaginal opening. You may also want to add some lubricant before you begin. It’s recommended that you test out your vibrator on other body parts before using it on the clitoral hood, especially if you’re new to the toy.
If you’re inexperienced with a particular type of vibrator, check the manual or do some online research to learn how to properly hold it and where on your body it feels best. It’s also important to note that your experiences may differ from day to day, depending on how relaxed and sexually aroused you are.
Some people prefer to use a vibrator during masturbation, but you can also take it to the next level by using it during intimate situations with your partner. Bringing the vibration into your relationship can add a whole other layer of pleasure and excitement, and some people even say that it helps them achieve orgasm during sex.
2. Stroke it around your penis
Some people think a vibrator is only for the clitoris, but it can really come into its own when used on the penis. For some people, this is a whole new avenue of pleasure that they might not have even considered before. For external play, try stroking the penis in light circles, especially around the frenulum (the soft area on the “front” of the head of the penis where it merges into the shaft) and the balls. This can give a lot of sensation, and is often orgasmic for people who like it. If you’re using a vibrator with a partner, stroking around the penis can also be great for foreplay.
As with all sex toys, it’s important to start slow and ease into the experience. It’s also a good idea to use some lube (preferably a water-based one if your vibrator is silicone) to reduce friction and discomfort, but remember that you have ultimate control over how much pressure or friction you want to apply. If the toy feels uncomfortable, it’s best to readjust or stop using it.
3. Stroke it around your vaginal opening
It may take some time to find the right pattern and power settings for this one, but once you do, it can feel amazing. You can stroke your clitoris, the upper wall of your vagina (where you’ll find a rippled or textured surface that says “helloooooo!”), and other places as well.
You can use your vibrator on yourself or with a partner. If you want to incorporate it into sex with a partner, talk to them ahead of time so they know what’s coming. And remember to always use a water-based lube with a vibrator so you don’t have any friction burn or uncomfortable spots.
When you’re using a vibrator to stimulate your clitoris, try doing something called edging, which means taking yourself close to the edge of orgasm but not quite crossing over it. That way you’ll keep yourself excited for more when you’re using the toy.
Vibrators aren’t just great for stimulating your clitoris and penis, they’re also great for oral sex, and you can even put it inside your vagina to up the game during cunnilingus. But remember, there is no one right way to use a vibrator: it’s all about what feels good for you and your partner. So experiment, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. And always remember to wash and charge your toys regularly so you don’t get a nasty STI from dirty equipment.
4. Stroke it on your nipples
The nipples are another place that vibrators can feel really great on, especially on a lower setting. If you’re looking for a bit more of a challenge, try playing around with nipple clamps like this one from JimmyJane. These toys pinch the nipples and can heighten sensation, plus they can be even more fun to have a partner play with, too.
In general, Chang suggests starting slow with a vibrator, and even going as low as a constant vibration. You’ll probably find that you “want to ramp up the intensity as you get used to it,” she says, but don’t push yourself too hard at first. “You know your body. If it hurts, you should stop,” she adds. She also recommends lube, which isn’t always necessary depending on the toy you have but can make a big difference, especially for first-timers. “A water-based lube will help preserve your toy and reduce friction,” she notes.
Finally, it’s important to remember that using a vibrator is not a replacement for masturbation. Vibrators just amplify sensation, and while orgasm is possible (or more likely with some), it’s not the end goal, either for you or your partner.
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