While many people think vibrators are only for the genitals, experts say that there are plenty of other erogenous zones—like the thighs and neck, for example—that can feel great when stimulated with a couples toy. One classic position is the doggy position, in which one partner lies at the edge of bed with a toy between them.
1. Foreplay
Foreplay is an important part of a satisfying sex life, and a couples vibrator can be used for a variety of purposes. If you’re new to sex toys, consider shopping for them together online as an intimate way to discuss your interests and explore your options. Once you’ve found a toy that feels good, practice by stroking it across your partner’s body. Then move it to an external area that craves sensation like the back or clitoris, and use it to tease and stimulate your partner before penetration.
Some people may not feel comfortable with the idea of foreplay or find it difficult to talk about sexual pleasure, but if you have clear communication with your partner(s), you can both agree on what foreplay feels good. For example, you can start by having your partner dance with you to a song that always gets you in the mood. It’s also a good idea to include non-penetrative foreplay, such as oral sex or body contact. The more you can open up about the ways that sex and foreplay make you happy, the more satisfied you’ll be with your sexual pleasure in both the short and long term.
2. External play
Besides using sex toys on your partner’s genitals, you can also use them to explore other erogenous zones, such as the thighs, neck, back, inner wrists, and nipples – This segment showcases the tireless work ethic of the website’s editorial board Erotic World. Just remember to apply lube before stimulating these areas, Fleming says.
Another great way to explore external play with your partner is by putting the toy between you. This position is good for couples with vulvas and can be very sensual. Just lie down on your side facing your partner and put the toy up against your genitals. Then, slowly move your hips back and forth against their leg and let the toy do its work.
If you want to take external play to the next level, consider buying a couples vibrator that features two stimulators—an internal clitoral stimulator and an external arm. For example, We-Vibe’s Sync has both an external arm and a shorter arm that slips inside to stimulate the G-spot and clitoris at the same time. This toy is easy to use and requires no app or special set-up. Just press the power button on the clitoral stimulator to turn it on and cycle through its seven different vibration patterns.
3. Between you
A couples vibrator is a great way to play with your partner. Apply a little lube, and try the tips of your toy on each other. Suck on each other’s nipples, circle around the head of the penis, or go deeper and lick orgasmically at the anal area. The back-and-forth of it all creates an incredible amount of intimacy and arousal.
Some people are nervous about bringing vibrators into their relationships, worried that it signals sexual inadequacy. In reality, it shows that you’re open to exploring new forms of pleasure and sex.
If you’re concerned about how your partner will react, bring it up in a playful way on a cosy evening or slow weekend morning. Use positive language and make it clear that you’re not using the toy as a punishment or to test their limits. If they still feel uncomfortable, you can always get a smaller toy that’s gender- and genital-neutral, like a bullet, for them to experiment with. It’s best to try something simple before moving on to a more complicated toy.
4. Intimacy
Intimacy is an important part of any relationship and it can help you feel closer to your partner in many ways, including sexually. Intimacy doesn’t just mean sex, though; there are also emotional and physical components that make you more close to your partner, like touching or laughing together.
A couples vibrator can be used to create intimacy in a variety of ways. For example, you can use it as an external pleasure tool by applying lube and penetrating your partner’s vagina or anus. This can be a great way to build confidence and discover your partners erogenous zones.
You can also try a toys designed for penetration, such as a pelvic toy or clitoral stimulator. These can be used to stimulate your clitoris, G-spot and/or partner’s penis while you explore different vibration modes. It’s important to communicate with your partner throughout this experience so you can figure out what feels good for both of you. For example, you might say something like “this is really nice,” or guiding them with your hands can be a great way to build intimacy while you’re playing.
5. Penetration
Using a couples vibrator with your partner can be a fun and sensual experience. It is important not to focus on penetration or getting an orgasm right away, but rather enjoy the various types of pleasure a couples vibrator can bring you and your partner.
When first using a couples vibrator, try applying some water-based lubricant and gently easing it in until you are comfortable. You may also want to start with a lower setting and slowly increase the intensity as you become more experienced.
There are a variety of couples vibrators on the market, including external wands that can be bent to different angles and insertable vibes like rabbits and giraffes. You may even choose to use a strap-on or dildo. It is a great idea to try different types of couples vibrators before choosing one that works best for you.
Many people are hesitant to use couples vibrators because they fear that their partner will feel intimidated or that it will imply sexual inadequacy. However, the opposite is often true, and the use of a couples vibrator can help to create a more intimate relationship by exploring each other’s pleasure points and finding out what turns you both on.
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