What is a Dom Sub?

Dom sub is just one of the many ways people who enjoy BDSM powerplay express their desire for bondage and discipline. It involves a relationship between a Dom and a sub that is consensually agreed upon.

Typically, there are certain rules to follow to keep the experience safe and rewarding for everyone involved. For instance, a safe word allows either person to stop the scene or take a break.

Dominant

Dominant BDSM play includes a wide variety of power exchanges. Many of these involve a sexual element and fall under the category of Dom/sub or D/s, which also includes bondage and discipline (B/D) and sadomasochism (S/M). Some of these scenes are highly intimate, such as nipple and genital clamping, flogging, and forceful oral sex. Others are more kinky in nature, such as spanking, impact play, and animal roleplay. These can be used in addition to or instead of sexual intercourse and as a form of punishment during submission play or sex.

In this type of D/s dynamic, the Dom takes complete control of the relationship and may use tools such as whips and chains to enforce his or her will on the sub. The Dom can order the sub to perform fellatio or cunnilingus, take him or her in a trance, and even urinate on them. Doms can also punish their subs with erotic spanking, which increases blood flow to the groin area and releases pleasurable chemicals, including endorphins.

In a healthy BDSM relationship, the Dom/sub dynamic is based on mutual respect and consent. It is important for both partners to remember that they are always allowed to stop the kink scene or D/s experience at any time. The responsibilities of the Dom/sub dynamic include caring for their partner, which can be as simple as laying out their partner’s leather jacket or getting them a glass of water.

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Submissive

Dominance and submission is a subset of BDSM that involves the power exchange between Dom and Sub. In this scenario, the sub takes on a more servile role and is subject to their Dom’s commands in the bedroom (or dungeon). The sub may be required to wear a collar and use certain words to show respect and obedience, but they are not slaves and retain a level of freedom and equality.

Usually, the relationship is highly negotiated and supplemented by the use of a safe word (an agreed upon non-sexual word or phrase that indicates that the sub has reached their limit). This kind of play also involves a great deal of communication so both partners know what to expect and how to play together.

Some couples explore a dom-sub dynamic as a way to spice up their romantic relationships or try something new sexually. Regardless of the reason, this kind of play can be very intense and requires extensive and open communication between partners.

The dominant-submissive dynamic is often erotic and involves the use of restraints like chains, rope, bondage tape, ties, handcuffs, spreader bars, blindfolds and ball gags. It is also common for a sub to be required to address their dom with specific titles and to make their feelings known through dirty talk. A dom may also require that their sub submit to various types of sexual play and training, such as whipping or bondage, but they must always have the sub’s consent.

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Collars

Doms can use a wide variety of tools to restrain their sub, including collars, ropes, bondage tape, handcuffs, spreader bars, ball gags, and more. These devices limit a sub’s senses or freedom of movement to place control in the hands of the dominant partner and heighten sexual stimulation.

Oftentimes, Doms also use dirty talk to command their subs. This is a form of dominant language that includes the use of terms like sir and madame, as well as the invocation of sex play. It’s important for Doms to be clear and specific with their commands to avoid confusion or ambiguity.

Some BDSM participants engage in pet play, where a sub behaves as a cat, dog, horse or other role-play animal. The dom might feed, groom and bathe the sub as their pet, while the sub is attached to a collar, leash, muzzle or bridle.

Other BDSM players might indulge in masochism, where they seek pain. A masochist might ask their dom to strike them or cause them to orgasm against their will. It’s important for these participants to have a contract or agreement that lays out all the boundaries and limits of their relationship, so they can prevent harm and keep everything consensual. This can include a safe word that the participant can use to stop the scene if they feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

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Aftercare

In BDSM play, aftercare is the act of checking in with each other after a scene or playing session. Often times, this is done for the subs benefit, however, Doms can and should also be checked in on.

Aftercare is a critical component to helping both partners get back into the world of reality after getting lost in a kink scene. It can include everything from physical comfort, like rubbing lotion into bruises and sore muscles, to emotional comfort. It can even involve boosting Oxytocin levels with cuddles and kisses.

The aftercare needs of a dom bdsm can vary greatly from one person to the next, but it’s important for all involved to take the time to consider what they need post-scene. If you’re new to the kink scene, it might be a good idea to sit down and discuss what your needs are with your Dom before you ever go into a scene. This will help avoid dom drop, which can cause both Doms and subs to experience a wide range of uncomfortable feelings after an intense kink scene.

As a dom, it’s important to know your kinks and what makes you tick. It’s even better to have a discussion with your kink partners and make sure everyone is on the same page. Aftercare is just as essential as the scene itself, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly.

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