Total power exchange can look abusive to vanillas, but it’s a safe way for Doms and subs to bring meaning and happiness into their relationship. It also requires high protocol, so it’s not for everyone.
It’s important to have frank conversations about what roles work for you and your partner. Also, make sure you have contracts that include safe words like caution and stop.
Dominant/Submissive Relationships
A dominant/submissive relationship is the ultimate fantasy for many subs. It isn’t just the power play that makes it so appealing, but the complete surrender and reliance on the Master for every part of their life. Some people even consider this a form of consensual slavery.
The difference between this and normal BDSM is that it goes beyond the bedroom. The dominance can seep into every aspect of the submissive’s life and control them, including their work, social interactions, and even their hobbies.
For some people, this level of control is too much. It’s not easy to give up everything you know and trust someone else to make decisions for you. It’s hard to maintain a 24/7 relationship with such high expectations for both parties.
Those who are interested in this lifestyle have to be careful and open-minded to what they’re getting themselves into. They should discuss with their partner how long they want to engage in this relationship. They should also create a contract that details the rules of their TPE. For example, they should talk about what happens if one of them wants to step away from the 24/7 lifestyle.
This can include the consequences of breaking the contract, such as punishment or sex bans. It’s also important to have a safe word that your partner can use so you can get them out of the relationship if necessary.
Slave/Dominant Relationships
A slave/master relationship in TPE can be as intense or vanilla as the participants want it to be. Some couples want a 24/7 live-in relationship while others seek training and service from their Mistress or Master on a sporadic basis, fitting it into their lifestyle.
In addition to the kinks and interests that can be explored with this dynamic, there are also many types of control that can be exerted. For example, a slave might be required to kneel before their Master and obey their orders at all times. Or, a Master might make decisions about their slave’s schedule and how they dress.
One difference between this and a regular D/s relationship is that in TPE, the couple may draft a contract outlining their terms and limits before any scenes. This allows them to clarify any misunderstandings and ensure that they are on the same page going into each session.
Some things that are typically included in a contract include the term of their arrangement, each partner’s rights and responsibilities, hard and soft limits, rewards and punishments, and confidentiality. However, every TPE couple will have their own version of a contract, and it should be drafted in such a way as to establish personal wants and needs. This is especially important given how high-risk and intense a TPE relationship can be.
Submissive/Dominant Relationships
Many BDSM communities use the term TPE to describe an M/s dynamic. While some people use it to mean any type of power swap, others reserve it for arrangements that happen regularly and outside of scenes. These are called 24/7 total power exchanges.
In this arrangement, the dominant sets every single hard and soft limit for their submissive. For example, they might tell the slave that she can’t use the restroom, eat or go to bed until they give permission. This type of control can even extend to the kinkiest aspects of a submissive’s life, such as their ability to orgasm or masturbate.
These types of arrangements are often based on trust and respect between the parties involved. They may not always include a contract, but most couples will discuss their needs and responsibilities. This is a great way to establish the ground rules of an agreement.
In this relationship, a safeword might also be used to prevent the dominant from overstepping the submissive’s physical and emotional boundaries. A safeword is a code word or sequence of words that signifies a warning to the dominant that their action is crossing a line and that they must stop. Depending on the needs of the couple, bondage accessories may also be used, such as the Cottelli Wet Look and Mesh Bondage Teddy with arm restraints or the Male Power Poseidon Fetish Thong and Shorts.
Bondage Accessories
For those who are into the more sensual and playful side of BDSM, bondage is an exciting kink that involves restraining a bottom with a variety of toys. A few of the most popular restraining accessories include collars, cuffs and gags.
Collars are a clear symbol of dominance and submissiveness. They can be soft for tender games or hard if you are more into sadistic play. The main function of a collar is to prevent the sub from talking and to give them the feeling of helplessness, humiliation and submission. They are also a nice way to tease and tantalize the other person.
Hand cuffs are another favorite for tops to use, especially when they are playing with their slave or toy. They are perfect for fast and mobile fixation of the bottom and can be used to restrict breathing. They can also be used to make the sub quieter and muffle their moans for more intense power play.
Ball gags are a more advanced restraining toy that is designed for BDSM bondage and can be used for a variety of games. They are a good choice for a sub who is into humiliation, drool play and other sensations that turn a bottom on. There are many different types of BDSM gags and some are designed for specific fetishes such as nipple stimulation or oral play.
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