Many women have difficulty reaching orgasm without a vibrator. That’s not always the toy’s fault, though.
A pillow, a stuffed animal, or even a rolled-up towel can provide sensation to the clitoris. You can also experiment with positioning yourself to see what feels best. For example, some people find that bouncing the top leg of their body is arousing.
1. Pillow Masturbation
Those soft, fluffy pillows you usually use for your head might not seem like an ideal masturbation tool at first glance, but they can feel like heaven against your vulva. Try stacking a few pillows one on top of the other and grinding against them in a rocking motion. Experiment with different textures, too. A smooth fabric like satin can provide a nice, gliding sensation while something with more texture, like denim, might provide a little extra friction to lubricate your clitoris.
You can even add a bit of spice to your pillow humping session by placing a small handheld massager or vibrating phone *safety first – make sure it’s in a waterproof case! – between the pillow and yourself. This will increase the sensations and heighten your pleasure.
Remember to stay in the moment and don’t put pressure on yourself to reach orgasm. The goal is to enjoy the sensations, and if an orgasm does occur, consider it an added bonus. Aside from being enjoyable on its own, regular masturbation sessions can help keep your sexual organs healthy. Plus, it helps to give you a better sense of what type of stimulation and sensations feel good to you, which can help you elongate your pleasure when you’re with someone else. And as if all that wasn’t enough, a recent study found that masturbating regularly can reduce stress and anxiety.
2. Leaning Against a Wall
Masturbation is all about the pleasure, and you can get that without a vibration toy. It takes a little experimentation to find out what feels good, but there are tons of options. You can rub your hands on the outside of your genitals, touch your vaginal walls, and even thrust against something—all of which can stimulate sensations that can lead to orgasm.
You can also try using a manual masturbation tool to stimulate your anal area. For example, Fehr suggests rubbing the index finger on your outer labia (or anal lips, if you prefer) and pushing inward toward your clitoris. You can also use a small, curved sex toy, like a ben wa ball or anal beads, for additional stimulation.
If you’re still not reaching an orgasm with your hand-only methods, a little lube may help. Just make sure the lube you choose is safe for use inside your body, especially if you’re taking the manual route.
Just as with sex and relationships, it’s important not to go into solo masturbation with any expectations or a goal of achieving an orgasm. That can put too much pressure on both mind and body, says sex therapist Brito. Instead, she advises people to think of masturbation as “a means to pleasure yourself” and to focus on enjoying the experience, rather than trying to achieve a particular result.
3. Taking the Scenic Route
While it may be tempting to rely on a vibrator as your go-to way to get off, hands-free masturbation can also feel like an adventure. If you don’t have a vibrator or just want to try something different, it’s totally OK to use your fingers, a toothbrush, a hairbrush, or even a shower head (though be sure to make it lukewarm and avoid soap). Just like penetrating yourself with a hand, using objects you already have around the house can give you a lot of pleasure.
You can also use sex toys to stimulate your clitoris or anal area without your hands. But, like with hands-free masturbation, it’s important not to get too goal-oriented when it comes to arousal and climaxing. “A lot of women become so focused on achieving a certain kind of sensation that it takes the fun out of masturbating,” Marin says.
Getting an orgasm can take a while, especially if you’re new to this, so don’t worry if your first few sessions aren’t super exciting. As with any experience, your sensitivity will increase as you continue to play. Just be sure to wash any used toys with antibacterial soap before you reuse them. And if your hands start to feel dry or itchy, be sure to reach for some lube.
4. Other Household Objects
If the vibrations on your favorite sex toy aren’t working or you just don’t have one, there are plenty of other objects around the house that can be used for hands-free masturbation. These items can be fun orgasm stimulators in their own right, though it’s important to make sure that whatever you use is clean and safe for insertion.
It’s not uncommon for tweens and teens to find that the washing machine, a towel, or a bowl of water can give them the sensation they need to orgasm. Likewise, many adults discover that they can get orgasms by rubbing their genitals against things such as cucumbers and bananas.
A lot of these DIY masturbation tools are also very inexpensive. Building your own sex toy can cost far less than purchasing one from the store, and you can tailor the sensations to your liking without worrying about voiding warranties.
A plastic bottle, for example, can be a great sex tool for masturbation because it has a skinny top that’s easily inserted. It’s best to use lube when doing this and to be careful not to inhale the sexy water. You should also avoid using soapy water because it can cause genital sensitivity and even urinary tract infections in some people. You want lukewarm or cool water so that it doesn’t burn.
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